How the laws of physics can be applied in anyone’s life, even Magic Mike’s
I’m not going to sugar coat it, I have a deep inner nerd. So it is no wonder that I wanted to do a piece on one of my favourite subjects- Physics.
First, let’s start with the pimp of all pimps of physics – Sir Isaac Newton. For those of you unfamiliar with Mr. Newton, he was and still is, the bee’s knees of Physics. He was to physics what Channing Tatum is to movies about male strippers. He owned that shit. And if you think that Newton and Channing’s character, Magic Mike, don’t have anything in common, you are wrong. They both know a lot about motion, friction, vibration and pulsation.
If Newton and Magic Mike had a theme song, it would be Lil Jon’s, “Shake What Your Mama Gave Ya”.
“But was Newton as much of a hottie as Magic Mike?” you ask.
Umm yes! Think of a sexy 16th century version of a 1980’s Michael Bolton. Between his Bolton hair style and his observations of the world, I bet that man got laid.
But Mr. Newton wasn’t just a scientist and physicist. He was also a philosopher and that’s just another reason I love him. So it’s fitting that his observations of forces, gravity, mass and the like, go well beyond applied physics. There is definitely something deeper going on.
Just like Magic Mike, Newton can get deep.
Newton’s law of universal gravity
This correlation all started a few days ago. I was thinking about my favourite law in physics. And yes, I have a favourite law of physics, don’t you? It’s my favourite because I didn’t truly think about it until my high school physics class and it blew my mind.
Although I’ll get to Newton’s more famous laws later, his law of universal gravity strikes such a chord with my heart. It’s only fitting I start with it.
We all know about gravity. It sucks us to the earth. It literally grounds us.
With the exception of what is happening to my boobs as I age, I’m thankful for it. The world would be much more complicated without it, even if my boobs stayed the same.
However, the most interesting thing about the law is that any two objects with mass attract each other with a gravitational pull. Everything to everything! (I’ll give you a moment to let that sink in).
The force is proportional to the sum of the masses of the two objects and disproportional by the square of the distance between them. That means, the bigger the objects are in mass and the closer they are together, the greater the gravitational pull.
So what is the lesson? How should you think about this in your daily life? Most importantly, what would Magic Mike do?
- We are being pulled by every object around us, our family, our friends, our giant televisions, and even that bottle of wine. The more we distance ourselves from inanimate objects, the more we can be pulled by the people in our lives. The more we are grounded.
- As distance between you and your loved ones gets larger, your heart must grow in mass to keep the force of attraction between you the same. Might explain why distance makes the heart grow fonder.
- It also might explain why a giant bear hug feels so good or why men like big boobs (they are literally gravitating towards them). Sadly, fat is less dense then silicon/saline, so this may explain why men gravitate to the fake ones.
- The law also explains why we love the moon, the ocean and the mountains. We gravitate to them, too.
- Most importantly, it explains why we like Magic Mike. His body is dense. (I’m totally taking credit for that, if it goes viral).
(Note: something large does not necessarily mean it has more mass than something smaller than it. The smaller object may be denser and therefore, have more mass. I’m not sure if this means we have a tendency to gravitate to those that are not as bright as us or not? I always thought it was just to make myself feel better.)
Newton’s first law of physics
Newton’s first law of physics states that objects in motion tend to stay in motion and objects at rest tend to stay at rest. Visually, think of a ball resting on a flat surface to a ball rolling down an endless, frictionless slope.
When I think about my productivity levels, I find this law always applies. I’m usually the biggest sloth or I’m smashing my to-do list like there’s no tomorrow.
The same could be applied to the difference between writer’s block versus busting out the next best seller or staying focused at work versus Googling funny cat videos. You either seem to be stuck or moving.
The main thing to remember about this rule is:
- the only thing the stationary ball needs to start moving is a force; and
- the moving ball will eventually stop with enough friction or force.
So the lesson is, don’t think that just because you are at rest, that you can’t move and don’t think that just because you are moving that something external might put you at rest.
I have no doubt it takes a lot of friction to stop Magic Mike’s moving balls.
Newton’s second law of physics
Even those not familiar with physics might know Newton’s second law of physics; force equals mass times acceleration. For example, our weight is our mass times the acceleration of gravity, which equals the force that keeps us glued to the earth. Yep, it’s that easy.
Force is also what you feel when someone throws a fist in your face. The factors of how big and dense their hand is and how quickly their hand is accelerating, will determine the pain you feel.
In order for the law to be true, the vectors of the force and acceleration must be in the same direction.
What’s the lesson then? If you have a goal, make sure your acceleration is in the same direction as the punch you want the world to feel. So many people think it is in the same direction, but many times they are contradicting vectors. And don’t forget to throw your weight mass into it. It’s part of the equation, too.
By the way, don’t confuse Newton’s force, with the force Magic Mike has on unhappily married women to remove their panties. They both require acceleration and mass, but Magic Mike adds in some momentum. Momentum is a synonym in physics for erotic thrust.
Newton’s third law of physics
It’s only appropriate that we end with Newton’s third law of physics, which states that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Or, when a body exerts a force on a second body, the second body exerts a force equal in magnitude and opposite in direction on the first body. It’s the action-reaction law.
I’m pretty sure it’s going to be the premise for Magic Mike 3.
Think of stepping off a skateboard and the skateboard flies into someone’s face. I learned this the hard way. Without this law, spaceships could not take off, swimmers could not propel themselves in the water, and Magic Mike wouldn’t be able to thrust his package into soon to be brides’ faces.
The lesson, however, is that one cannot exist without the other. For everything in your life, there will be an action and a reaction. Sometimes you are the action and sometimes you are the reaction.
When life pushes at you, push back with equal and opposite force to keep the equilibrium.
The most important thing to remember about these laws can be summed up by a quote from Dallas in Magic Mike, played by Matthew McConaughey,
“Fact is, the law says you cannot touch! But I think I see a lotta lawbreakers up in this house tonight.”
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